some of this. some of that. and there. you. are.

Who is the bigger idiot?  The person that writes “Your an idiot” or me?

1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
6. Farmer Bill Dies in House
7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
8. Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
9. Stud Tires Out
10. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
11. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
12. Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
13. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
14. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
15. Eye Drops off Shelf
16. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
17. Bush Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
18. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
19. Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
20. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
21. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Someone commented earlier, “Mike, you’re a very hard person to contact.”  Um, let’s see.  You can call me on my office phone, cell phone, Blackberry cell phone, home phone, or my SkypeIn number.  If that’s not convenient send me an email, I have 5 accounts.
But the best way to contact me is to call my Grand Central number.  Your call will ring on all my phones simultaneously.

Bored? Check out Jake and Amir, very funny stuff. Do we act like this at work too?

http://www.jakeandamir.com/

Just so you know, I divide people into two groups; those who “get it” and those who don’t.  Most people with whom I come in contact during the day fall in the latter group.  There are also people that think they get it but really they don’t.

For example, the women that daudle in the elevator lobby.  When the door opens, move QUICKLY to get inside.  We’re trying to be polite and we’re all waiting for you.

Then there’s the guy in the sandwich line today who didn’t get it.  While waiting in the long line he could have been deciding what to order.  Instead this DGIL (Doesn’t Get It Loser) gets up to the counter and then takes his time figuring out what to order.  The look on my face should have been enough to help him change his behavior. But since he doesn’t “get it”, he never will.

This is a test, posting from Marsedit

My daughter Meg is 6 years old and in Kindergarten.  When Meg comes home from school and is asked how school went – she immediately turns into Napoleon Dynamite.  “Only the worst day of my life – what do you think”.  Yesterday, my best friend Heather saw Meg and asked “How was school today?”.  In which Meg replied, “AWFUL……………..I got detention”.  Now mind you, Meg did not get detention.  In fact it is quite the antithesis, Meg behaves like a saint in school and I wish she was half as obedient at home as she is in the classroom.  At home, she is quite obnoxious and bosses everyone around because it is Meg’s world and we are just visiting.  However in school, she sits criss-cross apple sauce and lights up a room singing songs with the class.  At home, she screams from the family room asking where her chicken noodle soup (with the curly noodles) is and wonders aloud why it is also taking so long for her glass of orange juice.  At school, Meg sits quietly in the lunch room eating chicken nuggets and smiles politely as other kids talk and laugh around her.  When Meg gets home from school she throws her backpack on the floor and kicks one tennis shoe off in the kitchen and the other next to the couch.  At school, Meg quietly hangs her back pack up on her hook and puts her boots, hat, and gloves in her cubby.  It is truly amazing the transition of behavior from home to school, not to mention when she visits other peoples homes and they confirm she was just a delight!  This behavior is not new in children.  I have heard this for years from other parents, that their children are perfect and well behaved when away from home.  But the minute they bring the child back home LOOK OUT!  In conclusion, I just hope that someday Meg will share the “good child” behavior with me someday so that I too can experience what she only saves for the public.

- Kristen

The new (and final) season of Battlestar Galactica premiered last Friday.  It was fracking incredible.  If you’re not watching, then you’re missing one of the best shows on television right now.

My hours of operation at work are:
Monday - Friday
8 a.m. - 5:15 p.m.

Driving in this morning I watched some maniac weaving in and out of his lane obviously distracted by something. After catching up to him at a traffic light, it turns out he was fiddling with his stupid on board navigation system. Pay attention you moron.

In the office I often see people walking down the hallway reading their Blackberry’s paying no attention to anyone around them. Are they really that busy to disconnect from polite interaction with other people?

And loud cell phone talkers are constantly annoying me almost everywhere I go. Do they really need to make that important call where everyone can’t help but hear their stupid conversation? I don’t think so. What can all these people be talking about? Hang up the phone you slobs. And don’t even get me started about those idiotic bluetooth devices people wear. No you are NOT that important, you are just a loser.
So because people don’t practice simple manners in public, I think these devices should be banned from use. If you can’t drive and talk on the phone or pay attention to where you’re going in the hall, get rid of the damn thing until you can use it correctly.