Category — Rant

Just so you know, I divide people into two groups; those who “get it” and those who don’t.  Most people with whom I come in contact during the day fall in the latter group.  There are also people that think they get it but really they don’t.

For example, the women that daudle in the elevator lobby.  When the door opens, move QUICKLY to get inside.  We’re trying to be polite and we’re all waiting for you.

Then there’s the guy in the sandwich line today who didn’t get it.  While waiting in the long line he could have been deciding what to order.  Instead this DGIL (Doesn’t Get It Loser) gets up to the counter and then takes his time figuring out what to order.  The look on my face should have been enough to help him change his behavior. But since he doesn’t “get it”, he never will.

My daughter Meg is 6 years old and in Kindergarten.  When Meg comes home from school and is asked how school went – she immediately turns into Napoleon Dynamite.  “Only the worst day of my life – what do you think”.  Yesterday, my best friend Heather saw Meg and asked “How was school today?”.  In which Meg replied, “AWFUL……………..I got detention”.  Now mind you, Meg did not get detention.  In fact it is quite the antithesis, Meg behaves like a saint in school and I wish she was half as obedient at home as she is in the classroom.  At home, she is quite obnoxious and bosses everyone around because it is Meg’s world and we are just visiting.  However in school, she sits criss-cross apple sauce and lights up a room singing songs with the class.  At home, she screams from the family room asking where her chicken noodle soup (with the curly noodles) is and wonders aloud why it is also taking so long for her glass of orange juice.  At school, Meg sits quietly in the lunch room eating chicken nuggets and smiles politely as other kids talk and laugh around her.  When Meg gets home from school she throws her backpack on the floor and kicks one tennis shoe off in the kitchen and the other next to the couch.  At school, Meg quietly hangs her back pack up on her hook and puts her boots, hat, and gloves in her cubby.  It is truly amazing the transition of behavior from home to school, not to mention when she visits other peoples homes and they confirm she was just a delight!  This behavior is not new in children.  I have heard this for years from other parents, that their children are perfect and well behaved when away from home.  But the minute they bring the child back home LOOK OUT!  In conclusion, I just hope that someday Meg will share the “good child” behavior with me someday so that I too can experience what she only saves for the public.

- Kristen

Driving in this morning I watched some maniac weaving in and out of his lane obviously distracted by something. After catching up to him at a traffic light, it turns out he was fiddling with his stupid on board navigation system. Pay attention you moron.

In the office I often see people walking down the hallway reading their Blackberry’s paying no attention to anyone around them. Are they really that busy to disconnect from polite interaction with other people?

And loud cell phone talkers are constantly annoying me almost everywhere I go. Do they really need to make that important call where everyone can’t help but hear their stupid conversation? I don’t think so. What can all these people be talking about? Hang up the phone you slobs. And don’t even get me started about those idiotic bluetooth devices people wear. No you are NOT that important, you are just a loser.
So because people don’t practice simple manners in public, I think these devices should be banned from use. If you can’t drive and talk on the phone or pay attention to where you’re going in the hall, get rid of the damn thing until you can use it correctly.

I’ve started to write letters of complaint to companies that do things to annoy me. I wrote to BBC America to protest the huge banner that blocks the bottom of the screen during the entire broadcast of my favorite show.
The general manager at dealership where I took my car for repair last week got a stern letter from me about the bad service I received from their cashier.
And everyone remembers my famous letter to the Heinz ketchup folks last year.
I know this campaign of mine may not always produce results but it makes me feel better. If you want to start kvetching, there are several web sites that give advice about how to write an effective complaint letter.

So I attended a meeting this morning. It’s a rare occasion for me to accept a meeting invite since I think they’re all a huge waste of time. But a friend was presenting and I promised I would go to support her.

Yesterday the attendees received an agenda and presentation materials to review before the actual meeting. I read with interest all the new things coming up within the IT department. We’re getting an updated version of MS Office, there is a new trick to fixing a problem I’ve been having with laptops and our migration away from the previous owners network domain will soon be complete.

Then at the actual meeting, I listened with little interest the exact same things, word for word I just read in the presentation materials the day before. One by one these boring people (sorry friend), came up and read verbatim right from the slide. I just don’t see the point of these snoozefests. I read everything I needed before the actual meeting in a fraction of the time.

Then there are the  morons who ask questions by just restating something that was just said a moment ago. Speaker: “We’ll be migrating the domain over by the end of March.” Attendee: “Question. So when will you be migrating the domain over?” I wanted to slap him.

All these presenters should take a lesson from Steve Jobs. I like his style of presenting, he’s energetic and gets the audience involved. The visuals are creative and you never see him drone on by just reading what’s on the slide.

While I’m fiddling with the design of the site, here’s an entry from the archives:

So I take Pam’s PT Crusier in on Wednesday for an oil change and to have them check the brakes, they’re squeaking. I arrive right on time, check the car in and wait for the shuttle to work. 45 minutes later, I’m on my way.

Later, I get a call just before its time to catch the return shuttle “Mr. Feeeldstin, you car isn’t quite ready, we didn’t have a part, but it’s on the way.” I get on the 4 o’clock shuttle (it arrives 30 mins late), and go to the dealership and wait, and wait. Finally the tech tells me the part came but its the wrong one. “We’ll get a car for you, the rental car place will send one over momentarily.” I wait again. 30 minutes later they decide to take me to the car rental office. Once there I check in at the desk and then I…wait. Sheeeit! 40 minutes later I’m finally on the road with a smelly, dirty piece of crap car. But I didn’t care, I wanted to get home.

Today I call the dealer asking about my car and I’m told its still not ready. The correct part didn’t arrive but the truck is coming and it should be there. So I’m stuck driving the crapmobile home again. On the way, in a huge traffic jam, the car starts making this extremely loud screeching noise. It was loud enough to have everyone around me look over to see what the hell what happening. It did it again and again all the way home. I don’t know what the sound was, I don’t really care. I’ll leave the cursed car on the side of the road if it breaks down and have Pam come get me.

I’m a mess. First thing tomorrow, I’m calling my therapist to see if they can squeeze me in for an additional session this week.

So I’m walking into the restroom at work and some guy from another area follows me in carrying several magazines. He slips into a stall and I go about my business. About 10 minutes later, I’m getting some coffee and this same guy strolls out of the restroom and places the magazines back into the bin where he got them.

What I don’t understand is why he needs to come to our floor to use our resources but what really pissed me off was he was putting contaminated magazines BACK into the bin where someone else will pick them up.

The next time I see this loser, I plan on letting him know about it.

The company is being sold very soon to Cerberus. You would think people would make a point of learning how to pronouce the name of their new owners. But again today I ate lunch with someone pronouncing “see bare us” or “kerr be rus.” It’s “sir ber us” you morons. And while you’re at it, learn to pronounce Daimler. It’s not “Dame ler”, it’s “Dime ler.” Sheesh.

Everyone knows a person who thinks they know everything. For every story you have, these people come up with a better one. When you are in a conversation, it’s as though they are just waiting for their turn talk. They are not at all interested in what you have to say. They’re inconsiderate slobs who I avoid whenever I can.

So it’s fun at work when our Story Topper sits down with us at lunch. Usually we all get up and leave but once in a while it’s fun to play around with him. We’ll make up outrageous (and fake) stories to see what he comes up with. Everyone at the table knows the gag except the clueless moron who just talks endlessly about nothing. And while he’s blathering on, he continues to eat and spit food all over the table. Like I said, a total slob.

On that note, I have a habit of blanking out if the person talking to me is boring. They’ll be rattling on and I go to a better place in my head. So next time you see me with a polite but empty look, STOP TALKING because you’re boring me.

Coming soon: “The Adventures of Ryan - The Intern.”

Since I’m getting back into the swing of things with my blog, I thought I would review my past comments regarding my rules of etiquette.

In the elevator:

• When the elevator arrives, QUICKLY move inside. Don’t piddle around while I’m trying to be a gentleman by letting you go first. Several times people have taken their time and we miss the car.
• After you enter, make your floor selection and the MOVE OUT OF THE WAY. Other people need to access the panel so don’t stand in front of it.
• If the elevator is full, wait for the next one.
• Never, never, never take the elevator only one (or two) floors. If there is an escalator available, USE IT.

In line wherever:

• Keep your distance and don’t breath down my neck.
• If you’re in front of me, pay attention and maintain proper spacing to the person in front of you.
• When you get to the front, QUICKLY do what you have to do and get the hell out of my way. Don’t wait to decide what you are going to order until you get up to the counter. Use the time waiting in line to figure out what you are going to do.

Driving:

• Don’t tailgate.
• Use your turn signals.
• Don’t tailgate.
• Use your turn signals.
• Get out of my way.