Category — Rant

I’m not happy when I am forced to listen in on another person’s cell phone conversation. This morning, while I was pumping gas, some ignoramus was on his cell phone yapping loudly to another about the Piston’s game last night. He barked on about how much money he won on the game and where and when his buddies will be meeting to watch the next game. Then the obligatory “where are you at?” question came up from his blabee and I was forced to listen to a detailed description of his current location as well as that morning’s itinerary. I hope it rains on his BBQ plans tonight after he picks up steaks, milk, eggs and cereal at the grocery store on the way home from the cleaning he’s having done at the dentist at 3 pm. Hey, should he be talking on a cell phone anyway while pumping gas?

This rude behavior happens all the time to all of us. The moron cashier who thinks it is OK to yap on her cell phone while ringing up my order, the boob in line at the post office invading my earspace (and my personal bubble) and the idiot in the restaurant ignoring his eating companion while talking about some stupid business deal on his cell are really getting on my nerves.

The development of dampening fields to stifle cell phone use is an excellent start. These devices should be used in public places where the annoyance level of blabbermouths is high. Movie theaters, restaurants and churches would be a good start.

For now there is an option to fight back. Simply download a card from Coudal Partner’s Society for Handheld Hushing (SHHH) and give it to the loud talker that’s annoying you. Maybe they’ll get the message but probably not. People like that don’t really care what other’s think.

Next up, cell phone talking while driving.

It seems that everyone is crowding into my space lately. Yesterday in the men’s lavatory someone used the urinal right next to mine instead of skipping one. At the gym, in a row of 20 empty elliptical machines, a guy chooses the one right next to me. That guy should learn some bathroom etiquette.

The countless bubble-bursting tailgaters on the road, the people standing too close behind me in line and the close-talkers I meet are starting to wear me down. Is it normal to want others to keep their distance from me? These are things my therapist and I will discuss this week.

With the season finale episodes of Stargate, Atlantis and Battlestar Galactica last week, SciFi Friday’s are over. It was fun settling in for the night each week to watch three of my favorite shows for three hours.

Now that the season is over I have to say I enjoyed Battlestar the most. The plot twists, special effects and the general look and feel of the show impressed me. The show has the potential of going a long way and I’m hoping it won’t disappoint me. Stargate continued with some great storylines and I hear Ben Browder from Farscape will be joining the cast soon. It’s rumored Richard Dean Anderson wants out of the show and Browder I think Browder will be a good replacement. But the best part of Stargate is Jack O’Neill and his off-the-cuff remarks. He’s hilarious and I’ll miss him.

Last night we saw the premiere of the new movie Sahara. With lots of action, good music and special effects, Pam and I had a great time. I compare the film to National Treasure, Tomb Raider or Raiders of the Lost Ark. The characters were fun and I enjoyed the interaction between the main guy and his sidekick. I give this film 5 out of 5 stars, it was the best movie we’ve seen in a very long time.

This week I’m mourning the loss of a good friend, the Mobil gas station on the way to work. With my trusty Mobil SpeedPass, the visits with my friend were so brief they rivaled the race car’s pit stops at the Daytona 500. I waved the pass at the pump, Pegasus lit up and I refueled instantly.

The part I’ll miss the most, besides my Pump #2, is the lack of human interaction. I didn’t have to cheerfully greet anyone, scramble for cash or wait in line to pay. I speedpass’d the transaction and never once went inside. It was almost like getting free gas, like I was getting away with something.

I know there are other Mobil stations in the area but none are as convenient as my friend. There were right-turns in and out of the place and along my route to work in the morning. It was part of my routine for many years and I’ll have trouble adjusting. My eye twitches at the thought of having to exchange pleasantries with the station attendant at some new place. My therapist and I will have plenty to talk about this week.

On a good note, the SpeedPass still activates the S.I.T.S. underground transportation system run by that secret government agency. It’s been a while since I’ve talked about the huge conspiracy I uncovered in college.

Remind me to tell you about it sometime.

“Break dog waste into small, manageable pieces and mail them to people you don’t like.” This random quote of mine appeared on the site yesterday. It’s appropriate because I’ve been having trouble with the neighbor’s dog. Lately, they’ve developed the habit of letting the beast run loose around the neighborhood, making “deposits” along the way.

I usually try to be a good neighbor and look the other way when they piss me off. We have to live next to each other and I try to do whatever it takes to avoid conflicts.

But as I walked out to the mailbox the other day, I stepped in some of the dog poop. Now it’s time to confront these disrespectful morons that let their dog run in the street and poop all over their neighbor’s property.

How should I deal with them? Leave a note in their mailbox? Talk to him in person? It’s too bad they are putting me in this position. I only hope I can be nice when I ask them to behave nicely toward their perfect-neverbotheranyone neighbors.

As I walked in the work this morning, some lady in a Grand Cherokee almost ran me over while parking in a handicap spot. Then she raced past me on the sidewalk, running into the building. I caught up with her inside when I spotted her in line at the Starbuck’s kiosk. What was the big hurry?

Here are a few of my observations about the incident:
1. The lady was parked in a handicap spot in a garage almost 1/4 mile from the main building. I don’t understand why there are handicap spots that far away. If they can walk 1/4 mile, they can walk from a “normal” parking space.
2. By her sprinting past me on the sidewalk it showed me she really isn’t handicapped and shouldn’t be parking in that spot. Why is it so easy to get a handicap sticker?
3. She never once acknowledged my presence by apologizing for almost hitting me. I wonder how she treats other people during the day.
4. She should lay off the caffeine.

Dear Comcast,
We’ve been together for many years and you’ve always been good to me. But lately I’ve become annoyed by the terrible picture and high prices I’ve been forced to endure. You came to my house and checked my connections and did everything you could but I’m still not happy. So it’s with regret I may be switching over to satellite. It’s nothing personal but I feel I should be getting more from you considering the high prices I pay for your services. Satellite TV sounds better to me right now, so I’m going to be leaving you. I love you, Comcast but you have to love me back.

Here are some of the things my therapist and I are working on:
1. Stop being angry at the drivers who don’t acknowledge you with a thank-you wave when you let them out into traffic.
2. The Blinker thing.
3. Learning to cope with the tailgaters on slippery roads.
4. Understanding why drivers don’t use their headlights during rain storms.
5. Tolerate the endless congestion of traffic and slow drivers on the way home each day.

Everyone has their pet peeves. I tend to have more than other people. To help avoid some of them, I thought I would list things that annoy me when I help people with their computers at work.

1. Reboot your computer before calling me. This will usually solve your problem.
2. If you have trouble with your computer, just email me if you can. Don’t appear at my desk and expect me to come over to help right away. It’s a good bet I’m already helping four other people while I’m sitting there. So you’ll have to wait your turn.
3. If you see me outside of the office, don’t ask me to help you with your computer. I’m there to get away from work, just like you.
4. After you ask me for help, don’t continue to nag me until I help you. This will only serve to delay my response time.
5. It’s not necessary to read the entire error message you are getting. Chances are I’ve seen it before many times.
6. Finally, NEVER ask me to fix your home computer unless you are willing to pay me big money to do it. This includes giving advice during work hours concerning any trouble you have at home. I call it “consultation” and charge $60/hour to give you my troubleshooting advice.

The township where I live has been in our neighborhood systematically cutting down all the trees that line the streets. They are trying to prevent the spread of an invasive pest known as the Emerald Ash borer. It’s a terrible shame to see these wonderful 15 year old trees being cut down. I drive down the street and it looks like I’m in some barren tundra wasteland.

And the Ash Borer isn’t the only threat to our landscape. With the constant commerical development in our area, field after field is being stripped of all the trees to make way for another shopping plaza or office complex. Instead of beautiful corn fields and pine forests, now you see CVS pharmacies and banks. You can’t go a mile without seeing another drugstore or bank - and they’re not stopping. Each new development brings more traffic to the area and soon everything will be gridlocked. The other day it took me over 10 minutes to turn out of our subdivision. I suspect it comes down to taxes and money. Greedy bastards.

I look on these barren plots of land and think of that TV advertisement with the Native American weeping for his land being polluted. And the tear running down his cheek.