License for Idiocy

In the news, the Michigan Secretary of Roads announced a new licensing plan for drivers. Labeled the Complete Idiot license, it will be provided to those who demonstrate certain habits while driving on Michigan roads. A spokesman for the state, Ekim Nietsdlef says, “To obtain this new license, drivers will need to pass a road test. Their proficiency with tailgating, no blinkering and discourteous behavior will be graded. If the driver passes, they will be issued the new license.”

“I have a feeling many people will be eligible for this new license here in Michigan and especially around Metro Detroit.” Nietslef added. “If the Complete Idiot license works out, we may expand the program to include the Blonde Bimbo license, the Wannabe with Booming Bass license and even the Old Fart Driving During Rush Hour license.”

I came in contact with one of these newly licensed drivers the other day. Another other driver cut me off in traffic and never once acknowledged that he almost caused an accident. When I caught up with him at the next traffic light my temper got the best of me. I yelled out the window, “What’s the matter with you? Are you a complete idiot?” The driver looked at me, smiled and showed me his new Complete Idiot license and said, “Why yes, I am.”