Story Topper

Everyone knows a person who thinks they know everything. For every story you have, these people come up with a better one. When you are in a conversation, it’s as though they are just waiting for their turn talk. They are not at all interested in what you have to say. They’re inconsiderate slobs who I avoid whenever I can.

So it’s fun at work when our Story Topper sits down with us at lunch. Usually we all get up and leave but once in a while it’s fun to play around with him. We’ll make up outrageous (and fake) stories to see what he comes up with. Everyone at the table knows the gag except the clueless moron who just talks endlessly about nothing. And while he’s blathering on, he continues to eat and spit food all over the table. Like I said, a total slob.

On that note, I have a habit of blanking out if the person talking to me is boring. They’ll be rattling on and I go to a better place in my head. So next time you see me with a polite but empty look, STOP TALKING because you’re boring me.

Coming soon: “The Adventures of Ryan - The Intern.”